Thursday, November 24, 2011

November 13, 2011

It was a typical Saturday, got up early to go get coffee.  I was talking to my cousin Melissa on the phone.  Then my best friends husband called. I ignored his call, would call him after my conversation with Melissa.  Well Corey called again and that is not like him.  I knew something was wrong.  Well there was, Derek my 25 year old nephew was in a car accident and he was air lifted to Harbor View in Seattle.  I grabbed Lucky and we headed to the hospital. When we got there I was straight to ICU. They had no record of him.  Derek had come in as a John Doe because they couldn't find any id on him.  We went down stairs and finally found our extended family.  My family was all crying their eyes out.

My nephew Derek & his fiance Tristan had been in a serious accident.  They laid there for six hours before someone walking their dog had found them.  Derek had suffered major head trauma, broken pelvis, and damaged lungs.  Tristan had suffered a 8 inch gash on her head and her spleen was bleeding.

They finally got Derek out of surgery & moved us up to the ICU waiting area. Once they got us settled, we were told the doctor will be out to let us know how he was doing.  What seemed like eternity and then the finally the doctor came out.  Unfortunately what she had to tell us was not good.  Derek suffered major head trauma, stroked out on his left sign of his brain and had no blood flow to that area.  His mother asked if he was going to come out of this okay.  But the doctor said I'm sorry to say this but there is to much damage for Derek  to recover.  My heart sank and broke as I was trying to help pull my sister off the floor.  She started screaming and crying. She told her husband to bring her baby boy back to her!

We were all called back to the hospital very early in the a.m. on Sunday.  The doctors said a decision had to be made regarding Derek's care.  The final decision was made to take him off life support and donate his organs.  We were all allowed to visit him Saturday & Sunday to say our good byes and just spend time with him.  It was so very painful to see a young man that you have known all his life laying there on life support.  His head was so swollen from the brain trauma.

During Derek's final moments all the people who loved and cared for him were in the room.  It was soo painful and heart breaking to watch the people I love in so much pain.  Once Derek passed they took him into the operating room to take his kidneys for donation. One went to UW & the other to a hospital in Idaho.  Derek is living on in another people, which is what he would of wanted.

I guess I am writing about this is because I want young kids to stop thinking nothing is going to happen to you because it will.  My best friend no longer has her baby boy. Do not drink & drive, Do not get high and drive, wear your seat belts.  Call your parents or someone who loves you. One of my son's best friends was here for dinner tonight.  He has a major drinking & drug problem.  I didn't preach at him, but I did tell him that I don't want to have to bury him like I am my nephew.

 RIP Derek Todd Phifer December 2, 1985 to November 13, 2011


Candle Light Vigil @ Crash Site

2 comments:

  1. Oh Tina! This is awful. I didn't see this earlier but I check your blog all the time. I am so sorry for Derek's family and you and all his friends. You just never know when we may lose someone we love, or be the one to go. Life is fragile and precious.

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  2. Tina - I am so sorry for your loss. Loss is never easy, especially with someone so young. I am glad he was able to donate his organs and help others - One final act of selflessness.

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