Fathers Day

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new. There isn't a day that goes by since you have passed that I don't think of you.  I think of you in silence and often speak your name.

On this fathers day all I have are memories, your picture in a frame and your cowboy hat hanging on the wall.  Your memory is my keepsake which I will never part with.

God has you in his keeping. I will always have you in my heart!

Clean & Sober

My son came to see me today =) He's happy, clean and looking good. I'm feeling so blessed that he's doing well. As of today he has 84 days clean & sober.

Be Positive

Positive minds produce positive lives. Negative minds produce negative lives. Positive thoughts are always full of faith and hope. Negative thoughts are always full of fear and doubt.

Lucky's 84 Shagin Wagon

I have to give my son credit for being resourceful and smart. He bought an 84 station wagon from his friend for $1. Today he had his roommate do the painting that's on the hood. He has no shame in driving this wagon. He's excited to have his own transportation.

Movies

Last Thursday, I got a call from Lucky right after I left work. He called to say lets go to a movie Mom. I informed Lucky that my money was tight right now and can't afford it. He informed me it was his treat. I was shocked my son was taking me out and I didn't have to pay for anything. He surprises me every day.
I love him so much!

I Want To Love

I want to love, Lord

I need to love

I deserved to be loved

My heart, body and soul yearn in the night towards him to love

I am alone once again and want to be two.

I speak and he is no longer here to listen.

I live and he is no longer here to share my life.

Where does this love come from?

Where does my love go?

Lord, how do I put my love aside and allow him to heal?

I want to love lord, I need to love

Here I sit this evening Lord, and my love is unused

Am I not worthy Lord to have Love that will never end?
I am a kind, generous, loving woman who has a lot of love to give.
Is wanting to love and be loved like I deserve asking for to much Lord?

My #1 Man

Just wanted to give an update on Lucky.  He's doing amazingly well. He has been clean almost 75 days I think(not sure). He's loving life living in Seattle and not being in Auburn around any of the people who influenced his habit. Don't get me wrong, I know Lucky is the only one responsible for his addiction. He was made house president of his oxford house, they have now asked him to take on a responsibility in his chapter. He's been working. Paid his own rent this month. Has not asked me for a dime. Dealing with his addiction on a daily basis had become a part of my life. Now that he's doing so well, I don't know what to do with myself.

My boyfriend and I broke up, and Lucky was trying to play the parent role and tell me to keep my chin up. He's telling me not to worry about his problems he will figure them out. But yet I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop!  Lucky's father has been finally stepping up to the plate and spending time with his son. He actually paid the remaining balance of Lucky's last treatment stay. I'm guessing now that he sees our son moving forward and making right choices he is willing to help him.

I pray every night that my higher power will help keep the temptation away from child. I really am trying to stay positive, but I've been here with Lucky before. He's done really well and then he falls off the wagon again. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm trying not have expectations, but its hard. I just got to take one day at a time.

I am so very proud of you son!!! I love you with all my heart and sole!!! No matter how hectic our lives become, I will always be here to help guide you in the right direction. The picture below is the day I gave birth to my beautiful boy! The other picture is just one of my favorite pics of him

 

The little things in life

Love